Ruth Clare

How to be happy in 2025

I don’t know about you, but 2024 was certainly a “challenging” year for me. Don’t you just love those?

I am not sure if it was turning 50, the sudden, unexpected death of a friend, or the fact that I spent a huge part of my year on my own as I knuckled down and wrote a book, whatever the cause, I ended the year feeling low and lost. My nerves felt exposed and raw. I was more sensitive and defensive. At the same time, it felt like my spark had been extinguished.

The things I turn to when I feel out of sorts – exercise, sleep, reading, gardening, meditating – weren’t impacting me the way they normally did. One day, in desperation, I sat in a chair in my backyard with my shoes off, hoping the earth might ground me, staring at the sky. Tears trickled down my face in a stream that seemed bottomless, and I simply let them. I sat in my pain and surrendered to the feeling of not knowing what to do to make it better.

Uncomfortable as it is, we all need to learn the skill of sitting with our own pain

Ruth Clare

Pay attention to the positive

As the hours ticked by, I began to tune in to the rustle of leaves as they were jostled by the breeze. When the sun reached its zenith, I came to appreciate the tree I sat beneath, grown from a sapling I planted, now big enough to shade me. Eventually, my dog trotted over, not sure why we were sitting there, but happy to lie at my feet on the cool grass anyway, stretching for a tummy rub.

In paying attention to these small, good things, I felt a whisper of hope return. The next day I doubled down and made my noticings more deliberate. I looked for tiny moments that reminded me the world was a beautiful place, that good things happen every day, that I was safe. After a while, I noticed my despair had eased. Not entirely gone. But balanced by my increased awareness of the positive that existed in my life.

A lot of mental health strategies involve trying to fix what is wrong. But sometimes, a more helpful approach is to recognise all the things that are right. In 2025, I am making it a conscious endeavour to build more joy in my life. I thought you might want to join the fun with me.

Recipe for building more joy

1. Identify

What gives you joy? Art, films, nature, dancing, eating cake, swimming in the ocean, lying in a freshly-made bed, playing with your dog, spotting birds, drinking a perfectly made cup of tea, making macrame pot-holders, getting a massage, looking at the moon, having a nap, seeing friends, pottering around the house, writing in a journal.

There is no right or wrong here, but be mindful to check that the things on your list ACTUALLY feel joyful to you, rather than are things that you think SHOULD make you feel joyful. Don’t let your fear of looking silly or being weird stop you.

One of the things I am doing is going through all my clothes and cutting them up or adding things to them to make them feel more like costumes. I have always loved dress-ups so why shouldn’t I make every day a dress-up day?

2. Commit

There is no point coming up with a list bursting with joy unless you are going to put the list to use. Make a commitment to yourself to spend time doing things that bring you joy. 

3. Savour
Savouring is a process of taking your time to really appreciate something. Instead of letting small moments of joy pass you by with barely any notice, savouring is a conscious decision to linger in an experience, paying attention to your senses as you pause and fully take something in. This simple process amplifies your awareness of your own joy.

How to savour?
Spend twenty to thirty seconds really focusing on the moment, paying close attention to the physical sensations of your body as you connect to the experience: your breath, the feeling of your feet in your shoes, your warmth or coolness, the sensation of air on your skin, the feeling inside your heart as you allow the moment to captivate you.

Repeat daily.

Categories

Ruth Clare is an award-winning author, TEDx and motivational keynote speaker, professional actor, qualified scientist and authenticity, resilience and change expert who learned by necessity, first to survive, then to thrive. Ruth weaves research and hard-won lessons with powerful, relatable stories from her lived experience overcoming adversity, to help others find the courage to own the stories that are holding them back so they can rewrite their lives. With a rare knack for distilling the neuroscience and psychology of human behaviour into simple ideas and practical strategies, Ruth shows people how to embrace uncertainty, stay hopeful when times are tough and harness their potential for growth and change. Ruth’s TEDx talk, The Pain of Hiding Your True Self, has had over half a million views.