You are not alone
Knowing that you aren’t alone in your story can be powerful. Seeing your experiences reflected in research, conversations, or the lives of others can help bring clarity to things that have previously been confusing or hard to make sense of.
At the same time, engaging with these resources can bring up strong feelings. You might notice sadness, anger, grief, tension, or a sense of being overwhelmed. That’s a very human response to material that touches real parts of your life.
Be kind to yourself
Part of healing from trauma involves gently learning how to stay with discomfort. This doesn’t mean you should push yourself beyond your limits. You are allowed to go slowly, to pause, to step away, and to come back another time.
Before diving into the resources below, you may find it supportive to read this blog on How to tolerate the discomfort of big emotions, which offers simple, body-based ways to stay anchored while engaging with challenging material.
Take what serves you. Leave the rest. And remember: you don’t have to do this work all at once, or alone.
(P.S. If you have done any research on children of veterans, or know of other resources aimed at supporting children of veterans that should be included on this page, please reach out and tell me about it!
Research on children of veterans
Children of veterans are not very well researched, so in this section I’ve also included research that looks more broadly at veteran families. This often focuses on veterans and their partners, while children are treated as secondary or assumed to be indirectly supported. This research can still be helpful in understanding the environments many children of veterans grow up in.
Having said that, the lack of research focused specifically on veteran children is a blind spot that needs to be addressed. When children are overlooked in research and policy, their needs go unmet and their experiences remain unnamed.
Vrieling, A. (2025) — Adult Children of Australian Vietnam Veterans: A Silent Generation with a Story to Tell (Charles Sturt University, PhD)
A qualitative and quantitative PhD examining the long-term mental, physical, relational and identity impacts of growing up as the child of an Australian Vietnam veteran. — https://researchoutput.csu.edu.au/en/publications/adult-children-of-australian-vietnam-veterans-a-silent-generation/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Vietnam Veterans Family Study (2014)
A comprehensive multi-volume Australian government investigation into the health, wellbeing and life outcomes of Vietnam veterans and their families, including adult children. — https://www.dva.gov.au/documents-and-publications/vietnam-veterans-family-study-2014?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Cowlishaw, S., Dennison, M., Rioseco, P., et al. (2023) — Intimate Partner Violence among current and ex-serving Australian Defence Force personnel and families
A report identifying that approximately 45% of veteran families experience family violence, highlighting the need for trauma-responsive family support and clinical awareness in veteran communities.
https://www.dva.gov.au/sites/default/files/2023-11/ipv-research.pdf
Cowlishaw, S., Forbes, D., McFarlane, A. C., et al. (2010) — Mental health of partners of Australian Vietnam veterans
A large Australian study demonstrating elevated rates of mental health difficulties in partners of veterans, highlighting the family-wide impacts of service-related trauma.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20194571/
Cowlishaw, S., et al. (2012) — The impact of posttraumatic stress disorder on the functioning of families of Australian Vietnam veterans
Research showing that veteran PTSD is strongly associated with family distress, relationship strain and impaired family functioning.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22348640/
Cowlishaw, S., et al. (2015) — Posttraumatic stress disorder and family functioning: A review of the literature
A comprehensive review examining how PTSD in parents, including veterans, affects couple relationships, parenting and children’s wellbeing.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25808023/
Cowlishaw, S., Metcalf, O., Varker, T., et al. (2019) — The prevalence of mental health conditions in Australian veterans and their families
A population-based study identifying elevated mental health risks not only for veterans, but also for their family members.
https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/veterans/mental-health-of-australian-veterans-and-their-families
Intergenerational transmission of war-related trauma (Castro-Vale et al., 2019)
An international study showing links between parental war exposure and psychological outcomes in adult offspring decades later. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6688296/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Intergenerational transmission of post-traumatic stress in veteran families
Research on how veterans’ PTSD and other war stresses may be experienced by spouses and children. — https://www.researchgate.net/publication/311960034_Intergenerational_transmission_of_post-traumatic_stress_disorder_in_Australian_Vietnam_veterans%27_families
Family emotional climate and risk of PTSD in adult children of veterans
Study exploring how family relationships and emotional environment influence PTSD risk in veterans’ adult children. — https://www.researchgate.net/publication/346193777_Family_emotional_climate_in_childhood_and_risk_of_PTSD_in_adult_children_of_Australian_Vietnam_veterans
Dekel, R. & Goldblatt, H. (2008) — Is there intergenerational transmission of trauma?
A widely cited review exploring how trauma experienced by combat veterans can affect their children through family dynamics and attachment.
https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.20325
Yehuda, R. & Lehrner, A. (2018) — Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects
A comprehensive review examining psychological, relational and biological pathways through which trauma can affect subsequent generations.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/
Millennium Cohort Family Study (USA)
A large, ongoing longitudinal study tracking the health and wellbeing of service members and their families across multiple conflicts and service eras.
https://www.familycohort.org/
Child of veteran personal accounts
Clare, R. (2016) — ENEMY
My memoir about growing up as the child of a traumatised Vietnam veteran father and an alcoholic mother, exploring the generational impacts of military experience. First published by Penguin Random House Australia.
Atlas
Firsthand stories from military and veteran children, offering insight into what it’s like growing up in a military family and how they have learned to manage the challenges and support their own wellbeing https://atlasveterans.ca/news/month-of-the-military-child-2024
ABC Radio National — Conversations with Richard Fidler
A long-form interview in where I talk about my childhood as the daughter of a Vietnam veteran and the lasting effects of growing up in a home shaped by trauma.
https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/conversations/conversations-ruth-clare-rpt/8591678
Australian War Memorial — Ripples of Wartime
A documentary series I participated in exploring the ripple effects of the Vietnam War on Australians and their families, including the experiences of children of veterans.
https://wm.awm.gov.au/watch/ripples-clare
Educational resources on children of veterans
Webinars, talks and podcasts that translate lived experience and research into shared language and understanding.
SANE Australia Webinar — The Hidden Impact of Military Service on Families
This is a webinar I did exploring the generational impacts of military service on families, including children of veterans, delivered in collaboration with SANE Australia.
https://saneforums.org/t5/Events-and-updates/RECORDING-The-Hidden-Impact-of-Military-Service-on-Families-of/td-p/1680693
ABC Radio National — Children of Vietnam Veterans
Radio discussion on how growing up with a parent affected by war shapes adult life — available on the broadcaster’s site. https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/nightlife/children-of-vietnam-veterans/8471272?utm
ABC News / PM — Can trauma be passed down through generations?
An interview unpacking emerging research on intergenerational trauma in military families.
https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/pm/research-suggests-children-might-pick-up-aspects-of-ptsd-via-dna/10430216?utm
ERMHA Podcast — The Effects of War on Families
My podcast conversation about how war affects family systems and the wellbeing practices that support recovery from childhood trauma.
https://www.ermha.org/podcast/effects-of-war/
MHPN + DVA Webinar — The impact of military service on families
A professional webinar (recording) covering effects of service on partners and children. — https://mhpn.org.au/webinar/supporting-the-families-of-veterans-understanding-the-impact-of-veterans-mental-health-on-their-families-partners-and-children/?utm
MHPN + DVA Webinar — Supporting families & children of veterans
A follow-up webinar further exploring support options for veteran families and children. — https://mhpn.org.au/webinar/supporting-the-families-of-veterans-understanding-the-impact-of-veterans-mental-health-on-their-families-partners-and-children-part-2/?utm
Journal of Military, Veteran and Family Health Podcast — Impact of service life on children and families
A research-led podcast on how military service shapes family and children’s outcomes. — https://utppublishing.com/digital-content/jmvfh-podcast/impact-of-service-life-on-children-care-partners-with-dannielle-post-and-marg-rogers
Support Services & Practical Help for Children of Veterans (Australia)
Open Arms – Veterans & Families Counselling
Free, confidential mental health counselling for current and ex-serving ADF personnel and their families, including adult children. — https://www.openarms.gov.au/
SANE Australia — Shoulder to Shoulder
A free peer-support program offering facilitated groups and one-to-one connection for people affected by complex mental health challenges, including those impacted by trauma in families.
https://www.sane.org/shoulder-to-shoulder
Kookaburra Kids — Defence Kids Program
A peer support and resilience program for children aged 8–18 from Defence and veteran families. — https://kookaburrakids.org.au/defence-kids/
Lifeline
24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention services via phone, text and online chat.
https://www.lifeline.org.au/
Phone: 13 11 14
1800RESPECT
24/7 confidential counselling and support for people impacted by domestic, family or sexual violence.
https://www.1800respect.org.au/
Legacy Australia
Provides practical, emotional and social support to families of veterans whose service has resulted in injury, illness or death.
https://www.legacy.com.au/
Families of Veterans Guild
An organisation offering connection, events, advocacy and resources for families of veterans. — https://familiesofveterans.org.au/
Early Childhood Defence Programs (EC Defence Programs)
A practical, evidence-informed resource hub overseen by Dr. Marg Rogers offering tools, guidance and programs to support children and families in defence, veteran and first-responder communities, with a strong focus on early childhood and family resilience.
https://ecdefenceprograms.com/index.php/about/
Defence Families of Australia — Resources & Helpline
Support for serving and veteran families, including the Defence Family Helpline for information and connection. — https://dfa.org.au/resources/
Veteran Family Commissioner
An independent statutory role that advocates for the needs, rights and wellbeing of veteran families within government systems, including policy reform and systemic change.
https://www.dva.gov.au/about-us/our-organisation/veteran-family-advocate
