Ruth Clare

Change your beliefs, change your world

We often blame things beyond our control for our decisions, telling ourselves we can’t do something we want to do because we don’t have the time, the money, the skills. But it is often our beliefs that are the larger issue.

While your decisions may have some basis in objective truth, you might be unaware just how much your unconscious beliefs are shaping your perception and filtering your experience of the world. It is worthwhile becoming aware of your beliefs, because many times these are the things that are often holding us back from living the lives we want.

Make the unconscious conscious

By becoming aware of your beliefs, you can assess whether you really believe they are true. Often times you will find they don’t stand up to rational examination.

Some unhelpful things I used to believe are:

•          No one will value my perspective or want to hear what I have to say

•          I am not good enough or connected enough or likeable enough to be successful

•          I don’t have time to write a book and work and care for my family

•          I can’t say what I believe because other people will judge me

•          I should be able to do everything without help

•          I am too old to start a new career

You can choose new beliefs

Seeing that your beliefs aren’t “the truth”, but rather stories you have told yourself about the way things work, gives you the power to choose different beliefs. How do you make a new belief your own? Start acting as if you believe it! Behaving differently and taking different actions that reflect your new belief are the key. 

Some of my new beliefs are:

•          I haven’t failed if I haven’t stopped trying

•          Other people’s opinions of me are reflections of their own limiting beliefs, I don’t have to take them on board

•          I can do anything I put my mind to

•          It might be harder than I want, but I can do hard things

•          Small steps forward add up over time

•          There is no age limit on pursuing your dreams

•          Being outside of my comfort zone is how I grow

If it is so easy, why don’t more people do this?

Challenging your beliefs can feel destabilizing. It can push you outside of your comfort zone and make you feel defensive. But I am a big believer in taking calculated risks based on a cost/ benefit analysis. What is holding onto the your old belief costing you? What benefit might a new belief give you?

How are your negative beliefs stopping you?

This week, catch yourself when you are making an external circumstance the problem. Ask what you currently belief that makes you feel incapable of making changes to impact the situation. What new belief might be more empowering? If you did believe that, what new actions might you take today? Do that. Repeat.

Our beliefs aren’t set in stone. The only way old beliefs have power over us is if we continue to choose to believe them.


“You are imperfect, but you are worthy of love and belonging. — Brene Brown

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” — Buddha

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar

Ruth Clare is an award-winning author, TEDx and motivational keynote speaker, professional actor, qualified scientist and authenticity, resilience and change expert who learned by necessity, first to survive, then to thrive. Ruth weaves research and hard-won lessons with powerful, relatable stories from her lived experience overcoming adversity, to help others find the courage to own the stories that are holding them back so they can rewrite their lives. With a rare knack for distilling the neuroscience and psychology of human behaviour into simple ideas and practical strategies, Ruth shows people how to embrace uncertainty, stay hopeful when times are tough and harness their potential for growth and change. Ruth’s TEDx talk, The Pain of Hiding Your True Self, has had over half a million views.