Courage is the quality you need to transform the life you have into the life you want. It is an essential ingredient in all growth and evolution. It is a skill that can be taught.
Why we stay stuck
If you are unhappy in some way, with your career, your life circumstances, your relationship with yourself or others, you are usually aware something needs to change. But despite this awareness, many of us are stuck in our misery. We feel unable to take the actions that would allow us to build happier, more fulfilling lives. Why is this?
Change is hard
Firstly, we need to acknowledge that change is hard. It involves effort and upheaval. It brings up a lot of fear, whether that fear manifests as perfectionism, people pleasing, imposter syndrome, procrastination, avoidance or overwhelm. But just because change makes us feel scared doesn’t mean we should avoid it.
What happens when your fear is bigger than your courage?
If your fear is bigger than your courage, unfamiliar situations, ideas and people feel so unsafe you find it difficult to navigate them. This means, even if you aren’t happy with how things are, the risk of trying something different, building connections, learning a new way to see things, or sharing your ideas, thoughts or authentic self with others can feel dangerous. It is hard to thrive when you don’t feel safe.
Why does change feel so scary?
Despite the fact you walk around in fancy clothes and drive cars and use computers, biologically you are still an animal. Like all animals, you have biological processes operating 24 hours a day to ensure your survival. One of these ancient survival instincts is the feeling of fear that arises from situations involving uncertainty. To our lizard brains, uncertainty = danger = potential death. Now while this instinct is helpful in preventing you from mindlessly wandering into traffic or stepping off a cliff, it can become an impediment when it comes to growth and change.
Why am I talking about fear instead of courage?
You cannot talk about courage without first talking about fear. If something doesn’t scare you, it requires no courage to do it. So in order to understand the important role courage can play in your life, you must first understand the extent and nature of your fear.
When do you feel fear?
Whether you are starting a job, setting a boundary, learning something, building a healthier relationship, chasing down a dream, trying a different way of doing something, sharing your perspective, creating something or adapting to a circumstance you didn’t choose for yourself, fear is often present. But it is important to understand that just because you feel afraid, doesn’t mean it is a sign that something is wrong. Fear doesn’t only happen in the face of danger, it also arises when you are growing, learning and taking calculated risks that bring big rewards.
Courage is the key
Instead of being controlled by your fear, you must recognise it for what it is, learn to tolerate the sensations fear produces in your body, and develop your capacity to take courageous, life-affirming action regardless. This is how you unlock the option of changing your life for the better.
Courage can be taught
What if you don’t feel courageous? Each of us has a well of courage. No matter how much you have endured, how afraid your experiences have made you, this well of courage is deeper. It is untouched by anything that has happened to you. It is available for you to use whenever you want. But up until now, you may have failed to tap into its power.
Courage in Action
Courage as a concept is one thing, but courage only ever truly exists through action. Talking about doing something is one thing, actually doing the thing is what takes courage. This is the part of courage that excites me the most. The tangible and measurable results you see in your own life once you start putting courage into action and the sense of growing confidence and power you feel each time you
Courage in Action can look like:
– speaking your truth even if others don’t agree
– facing difficult experiences from your past
– identifying and challenging the limiting ideas that are holding you back
– learning how to feel the feelings you have spent your life running from
– daring to go after the dreams you have for your life
– learning how to be kind to yourself on your journey as you change and grow
– learning how to set boundaries
– making and executing a life plan that honours who you are and what you truly want (instead of what you think you should want)
Courage in Action in business can look like:
– daring to do things differently
– reframing failure as learning
– sharing your thoughts more widely
– admitting you need support
– challenging standard practices
– celebrating where you excel
– owning your value and your perspective
– building your skills
– creating a positive and supportive network
– developing and executing a plan to achieve your visions for the future
Courage skills
I teach people how to:
– build a felt sense of psychological safety so they feel more capable of change and growth
– get clear on life priorities from a deeper more heart-felt place
– stop comparing themselves to others
– champion themselves and believe in their awesomeness
– identify areas of growth and change and create tangible action plans to achieve the biggest of goals
– use simple body-based practices to stay grounded when their fear arises
– develop mindful awareness so they can observe rather than listen to their fear
– unpack the old stories that are holding them back
– build a positive, hope-based perspective
– amplify joy and meaning in their lives
– dig their well of courage
